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Subj: downsizing & continuationDate: Aug 6 1996 2:03 PM EDTFrom: ja-wrat@ix.netcom.com (jarrett aaronson)rh,as i sit here listening to my new copy of 9/27/72, i can't help but think aboutthe wonderful letter you penned to jg. i've been reading your stuff online for awhilenow, and i'm really grateful to you for reaching out to be with us as the road continuesonward. i guess that it would be so easy to hole up and shut off the despair, but weneed to get it out. for giving us another outlet here in these pages, thank you.the telephone conversation you transcribed provided me with a good cry. being arecovering addict myself, i related to jer's hope. at the same time, i recognized thehold that the cunning disease of addiction had on him. as a musician myself, i alsorelate to the intense joy that can be felt at times while playing. for some reason, themusic that you and he created has a special magic all it's own, and when summoned forth from speakers in a live situation, can encompass all present who wish to tune in.for years i've had a daydream of getting a call to fly out to the bay area tofill in for phil. (the dream usually has phil wanting to take a break, vacation, etc.)i spent last week philling in for my friend who had gone out of town. i've had some ofthe highest moments of my life in the last week. we played a 'standing on the moon'that had all of us crying, literally. wharf rat was particularly emotional too.what i'm getting at is this, now the scene is *truly* up to us. we have tocreate our own cells of hipness. those of us fortunate enough to have experienced the*real* thing have to carry the torch in a truly righteous manner. the nonsense thatwent on last summer will repeat again if we fail to learn from the mistakes made anddon't mind the store. part of carrying the torch for me is playing. not playing formoney or prestige, but playing for *it*. what *it* is, i certainly cannot explain, buti know that the feeling is there, and it is real. i think that it's important for us toremember where we've been, and what we've experienced, and try to re-create it on alocal level. it can be done, i've seen it myself. there's hope for us freaks yet!anyways, thanks man, and keep up the good stuff. :)jus' doin' my part to keep the flame alive,jarrett a.Jarrett,you've said a very large mouthful - to re-create it on the local level. Recreate. Not copy, but take the energy which is rightfully yours, recognizing what it is, and do it for the right reasons. Bypass the machine that wants the music fabricated in bite size chunks at 127 beats per minute. Music is bigger than business. Time it broke free. Do it. Just do it!Subj: Missing GarciaDate: Aug 6 1996 1:57 PM EDTFrom: Perspicuous@msn.com (Ronald Moore)Dear Robert,Just finished reading your letter to JG.Last year, at the time of Garcia's death I told myself that awesome as my owngrief and shock were, they were nothing compared to the loss that Jerry'sfamily and friends were (and still are) suffering. Your letter confirms myinitial assessment, my heart goes out to you and yours. Condolences for yourloss.Haven't bought any of the books written since Jerry's death. Money grabbingfucking grave robbers pretty much sums up my sentiment. Same for the assholesthat now infuse their pathetic pop songs with references to Garcia. Theywouldn't have given him a fucking tumble if he weren't dead.If he weren't dead.Cried like a baby reading your letter. Crying now too. Can't seem to get myshit together.I did buy the tabloid trash about Jerry last August, foolishly believing thatdetails would somehow comfort. Kept up on print interviews over the years too,so I can't recall whether I read the following words attributed to Garciabefore or after his death, or was it the New Yorker interview?Anyway, it went something like this. Garcia was telling the interviewer aboutan encounter with you, where, at the end of a summer Jerry ran into you (atthe Dead's offices?) and inquired as to what you'd been up too. Seems asthough you had been translating Rilke's work, or performing some other equallydaunting intellectual gymnastics. As the interview goes (and so goes mymemory) Garcia was more than a little embarrassed to tell what he'd beendoing, because he'd spent his time goofing off!!One thing that always seemed abundantly clear from my perspective is thegenuine respect that Garcia has for you, your friendship, and your work. He isreally proud of it.(God Damned cry baby, can't keep myself together.)Patty and I got a puppy this past Saturday. Keepin me plenty busy she is.Toyed with naming her Geraldine but have too much baggage for that. Settled onSweet Pea. She's a Rottweiler, good city dog I hope. Working at home as I do(writing business plans, technical manuals and other nonsense offeringabsolutely no socially redeeming qualities, yet somehow generating a modesttrickle of much needed cash) I have plenty of discretion over my time. Idigress...When I first heard rumors on tour of Garcia's heroin use, I refused to believethem. Not my man, he's all for a party, true enough, but not that shit. Ohwell, being wrong is nothing new nor humbling at this point. Over time, itbecame clear that the rumors were true. Then a string of happenings occurredwhich erased any doubt about it.While fearful for his health, I was not judgmental. Somehow I could sense achange in Garcia over the years. At first seeming shy on stage, thenblossoming into a performer without equal. Man could he work a fucking room orwhat? Bang. Zoom. You're off to the moon!!! The power and clarity was justunbelievable. As the years grew it seemed to change for all of us and forJerry too. Seemed as though he became more reserved on stage. Partially amatter of his sense of dignity, I'm sure. It was quite clear that although hewas obviously not a primper and fusser, he did seem conscious of his aging,overweight appearance (aren't we all?). But there seemed to be a sense ofsomething else there too. A kind of resentment. A love/hate thing between theSCENE and the MAN.Seemed as though Jerry regarded the scene something akin as to how a vampiressregards Dracula. Both giving into and drawing from the relationship. Yet washe ever really fulfilled by our devotion? Weren't we just a little too needyof him?How could we assuage his angst?Is it possible for the crop to so love the rain and sun as to somehow offersomething of a like or even similar importance?So no, I didn't hold anger for his heroin use. Who am I to judge anyoneanyway. Wish he didn't do it. Wish he had taken better care of himself. Wish Icould've bought him a beer and shared a laugh, I don't believe I ever did hearhim laughing.Tell you one thing. I'm proud of him. Whether he meant it or not, his death,for me, is symbolic of his life. He took it upon himself to get help. Heliterally died trying. I couldn't be prouder of his example.My nephew Paul died on January 29th, 1994. Just two months short of his 23rdbirthday. Overdosed on heroin in a cheap dive of a hotel room. Supposedfriends right there with him. First show I saw subsequent to Paul's death wasreally spooky. Before the show, while Patty and I were checking into ourhotel, there was an EMS crew wheeling a dead body right out the front doors!!!That night the boys played He's Gone. I mean they REALLY played it man.Never did heroin myself, missed that one. Afraid I'd like it too much, givenmy addictive personality. Gave the rest of the gambit a pretty hard tumblethough.Like I said. Like you said. Hell, we all know what we know. Won't do any goodasking a lot of questions we can't answer. But. BUT. Who was it amongGarcia's so-called friends that kept him supplied?? Or did he score from thecorner of Main and Nowhere?Yeah, its been a year.What a year. Got married on 5/19/95. Fired from a high profile job on 6/14/95(kiss my ass stiffneck me, oh well..) Then Jerry Garcia up and disappears.In closing, please allow me this opportunity to thank you Robert for the giftyou give us all. The gifts of your work, wrought of your most impressive skilland genius. God bless you. THANK YOU. I know you miss your friend, old buddy,it shows. The courage and grace you display, in not just carrying on, but theway in which your doing it, well, YOU'RE A GREAT MAN ROBERT HUNTER. I know Ispeak for my brothers and sisters when we say: we're proud of you Robert!!!And to all my brothers and sisters, please be kind to one another. We feeleachother in the night. We hear eachother on the wind. We have eachother. Wehave the music, and we have Robert Hunter, who somehow magically gives voiceto our collective souls. The good. The bad. Its all measured and served-up byRobert. Treasure him as he clearly treasures us and this life we share.Now lets make this next year one we can all be proud of. We'll certainly haveto work hard to enjoy it, spoiled as we've been.It is to us to keep the dream alive.Be well,rmRon,you just patted me on the back so hard I nearly spit out my gum. Thanks! But shit man, I don't know that it takes someone particularly "great" to feel gratitude and appreciation for being supported financially and artistically for so long by a group of people whom every other performing group in the world readily and enviously admits are the greatest and most loyal audience possible . . . or to want to reach out to them in the same way you reach out to a friend in a time of need, both to commiserate and lend some cheer. If such an impulse makes one "great" then these are bad times indeed. You do it for each other, why is it so strange that I join in? This is the Grateful Dead, after all, not Dion and the Belmonts. You should expect it. Shouldn't you?Date: Aug 6 1996 11:57 AM EDTFrom: SSolSubj: Missing him, too...RH,Just read your letter to Garcia. As usual, your thoughts on the subject of your great and weird departed friend made me a bit weepy, and very content to have shared the planet in his time and in the light of your mutual endeavor.>we scored a piece of Americana, my friend.<Amen, and you should feel proud. BTW, I cannot think of another person of your stature and public regard who has made such an effort, with such grace and good heart, on behalf of the "fans". Of that, you might be allowed some pride, as well.I remain as always, somewhat sentimental, very grateful...
(yes, I writing this on my work computer, using the boss' corporate account ;-)Steve Solomonssol@well.comSteve,just trying to do the right thing. Be "stature and public regard" as they may, it's all pretty inconsequential in the face of the deep deep feelings expressed by so many with the first anniversary of our "great and weird" friend's death upon us. It's ourselves in him and him in us, as always in grief, from which we must reclaim our joy. Reclaim it enlarged and purified. That is the fruit of the labor of grief well done.Date: Aug 6 1996 6:53 PM EDTFrom: SCHAEFFER@wpc.wilpaterson.edu (Marc Schaeffer)With as much sincerity, yet brevity, as I can muster, please accept my thanks for sharing your "Letter to Garcia" with us.As the one year anniversary approaches, I found it very cathartic to share in your ongoing reflections on your lives together, what has transpired since he died, and grieving for his absence. Your closeness to him made me feel more intensely as I read what you wrote.Twenty-five years seemed a long time to be a fan. Forever more without Garcia and the Dead feels endless. At least we have the tapes!Thanks again,Marc SchaefferMarc -at least? First, foremost and forever we have the tapes!Subj: thank youDate: Aug 8 1996 3:15 AM EDTFrom: rose@well.comjust read your letter to jerry on the web site. we wanted to thank you againfor expressing so perfectly with your words the feelings from our hearts.you are the wordsmith of feelings, giving voice to what we cannotarticulate.we'd like to send copies of your letter to friends who will not see it on theweb, and who we will not see and share our hugs and tears with on august9.thanks,rose and chrisRose and ChrisFeel free to copy and send the letter. Thanks for yours.
Subj: Re: 8/6Date: Aug 8 1996 2:04 AM EDTFrom: ssol@well.com (Steven Solomon)rh...Thanks for the reply, and once again, let me remind you that there's noneed to throw yourself into the email-loop unless I actually get somethingout of my brain this evening... something compelling an itch to writeon/with your own dura mater.That said, let me get to it. I've got a couple of thoughts on your recent message.You, rh, are in these recent circumstances performing as a true Rabbi. Take no offense, nor infer any compliment beyond a very basic understanding ofthe appellation.Yes, I am surprised to find myself diving back into my Jewish heritage andmy rather shallow understanding of my people's most ancient practices andsocio-religous hierarchy... but here I am at this moment, considering theloss of the peculiar and perhaps unwilling messenger, Garcia, and I readagain and consider your thoughts, so well informed by experience...In this moment, looking into the darkness that I and my chosen family andthe wider community of Deadheads and those close to the man himself, nowmust understand... as I look into this space and hope to will it to bear abrightness in its many possible meanings, your voice in the "Letter toGarcia" speaks clearly as a teacher, a Rabbi; not a priest, certainly not a"star" or leader in the common sense, but as a teacher who teaches best inteaching by provoking heart-felt thought in the "student". This is soimportant, of course, in honoring such times as the passing of loved onesand, as you say, performing grief well done.Going back to the public regard riff- hmmm, you might be right on that, ifI understand yer drift. Don't mean shit, really, n' for all we know, thatgoes out'ta style with tomorrow's weather.In my heart, tho- your stature remains secure. For this human of secularAmerican-Jewish upbringing, you are a true Mensch.Steve S.Subj: Unsolicited advice from a stranger...Date: Aug 8 1996 12:36 AM EDTFrom: valdhi@pluto.njcc.com (Valerie Ramos-Ford)Dear Mr. Hunter (is Robert ok?),I was just sitting here on what I believe to be a day or two after theanniversary of your friend Garcia's passing and a day or two before hisbirthday . I was remembering barreling down Rt. 1, having just gotten myfirst passport at age 35, grooving with my 73 year old Mom to a string ofDead tunes that are never heard on prime-time radio, explaining to her thatshe should love Jerry if only because he had the good taste to sing songstitled by both of our fairly unusual names (her's being Evangeline and mineValerie), her explaining to me that he sounded like a nice young man who "atleast ARTICULATED" when he sang, only to find out that it was because he haddied that we were sharing this lively moment together. It was also almost 5months to the day since I had included a portion of Black Peter ("see herehow everything...") into my own daddy's eulogy with mom's blessing, knowinggood and well that "nine mile skid on a ten mile ride" would have been farmore appropriate.Today I couldn't help but think, what is Robert Hunter the man, not RobertHunter the writer/lyricist/fitb (fill in the blank) feeling in these tenderdays? It was then that I drifted through your web-site again, finding yourletter to Garcia and portions of your journal that deeply touched me. Inthe closing of the recent journal installment, you said something like everytime one of your circle dies you feel as if a part of you is cut off,leaving a void in your heart. I can only imagine what a loss as deep asthis must feel like although I, too, have had loved ones, young and old,pass on with no good-byes. Still, I have been thus far spared from losing akindred spirit. For what it's worth, I learned a few things along the waywhich are worth repeating, although I'm sure I tell you nothing you don'talready know. Since that's never stopped me in the past...I have always felt that we are in part who we make ourselves to be and partwho others make us to be -- whether we like it or not! Not an originalthought. I also believe that when you meet a true friend, it is more thanlikely that they will reflect back to you, in some fluctuating balance, whatyou admire most about yourself and your most hideous demons. The ones whomake us feel comfortable all the time are not the real McCoy. Now, whensomeone has in their possession such a complete profile of you and thatperson dies, how can one not feel as though they have lost part of himself?How can we ever convince another that those precious things about us thisother saw and knew ever existed? Who can we appeal to to second our veryexistence? It can be terrifying, but there is something that, to my mind,is far more terrifying -- having the opportunity at a particular time inlife (or in a particular lifetime?) to have such a friend/kindred/soulmateand not to take the chance -- not to jump right off the high board into lifetogether and create that wild adventure! As I get older, I have a fargreater fear of losing someone with whom I feel the potential for, but lackof daring, to embark on that gut-wrenching, world-spinning ride than I do oflosing someone I have the extreme priviledge of actually having such arelationship with. Dig?I sent you a poem about a month ago (which you kindly corrected andposted--thanks!) entitled Tango which was my expression of encouragement totake such a risk with someone. It seems very obvious to this outsider (andno doubt millions of others) that you and Garcia decided a long time ago totake the big, wild, wooley ride together-- with all of it's ups-and-downs,twists and turns. And boy, are we all blessed that you did! Bravo for yourincredible courage!Here's another poem of mine that shows the flipside of Tango (where do Ifind the audacity to send you these trifles? And drafts, yet? Ah, the highboard! If not you, then who?)Maybe I Resolve"But this is a new year,"you said."Maybe I'm different,maybe I'll care,maybe you'll matter,and maybe, just maybeI'll share my mostprecioussecrets and dreams.Maybe one daywhen I'm back homeor far away again,when I feel rightor you'remore beautiful.If I could onlyrememberwhat box I'velocked them all inand where I'veplaced the box.At least I'm sureI still have the key,"you saidas youfumbled awkwardlythrough thoseold blue jeans,the ones withsomanyholes.January, 1996Be well during this time. There are so many of us who are not reading thearticles and books that you are not giving the interviews for (probably forsimilar reasons). There are so many of us who have benefitted from yourwork with and without Garcia who do not presume to know you or your grief.What I'm saying is, there's hope, there's a real spirit (or universe, asGarcia said to you) which is alive and well and which you have given many ofthe words to. But you, more than most, should always reap the benefits ofand joy from this universe without feeling the responsibility to maintain iton your own. Coming from a stranger, you may certainly take or leave thispresumptuous advice (truly meant as support!) -- just know at the same timethat it's most heartfelt. You are no murky star in the background of agreat comet, Mr. Hunter.ValerieValerie,thanks you for another insightful letter. As Blanche said to Stanley:"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers." It's strangers who hear the work in the proper perspective - apart from its roots - as a thing in itself. It's how an artist creates a persona in the world, through making himself known to strangers. If the persona is a fiction, not part of the artist, but an utter creation (if that's even possible) a deception receives the response of the public and the creator is left alone, untouched in his/her shell.Date: Aug 7 1996 10:21 PM EDTFrom: swright@copyright.com (Steve Wright)RH,Sweet letter to Jerry. Just the tonic I needed to help pave a toughroad this week. For all the attention I've been focusing on stayingpositive and trying to "thrive" in post-Jerry environs, I seem to haveforgotten that delicate spot within me that still recognizes grief.Maybe that's the *ends* as received from the *means*A few thoughts...You say that Jerry mentioned that this (1969) was yourtime in the shadow, and that at some point it would be your turn...towhich you responded.."no pencil-pusher is going to inherit thestratosphere that so gladly opened to you (jer)..In part I certainly agree, but I can't shake the feeling that what isbeing created through this archive/journal/mailbag community is part ofwhat Jerry was referring to. While you (aforementioned pencil-pusher)certainly couldn't fill that space, do you think anyone really believesthat anyone (Mr. Garcia included) could possibly inherit thestratosphere that's been opened to you (or the one *you* opened forthat matter)?The feeling within my expansive network of kindred spirits is one ofhope (grief notwithstanding), and it's also one of curiosity. Your homepage is starting to feel less like a soap box, and more like atrampoline. For as busy as you are answering e-mails from those of uscourageous enough to send hopeful queries into the fray, you'd need an8th day if 1% of those who lurk in the shadows of awe decided to reartheir collective head*s*.With each update comes another reason to look forward. Each passionatenugget from your mailbag is another example of promise. And each personwho asks me "Hey have you checked out Hunter's home page"? is yetanother vehicle of hope.Sitting here at my desk, Wednesday morning 9:15am, Hot, humid, BostonSummer in full force, tears streaming down my face, hoping to God myboss doesn't come knocking on my office door and wonder just what thehell I had for breakfast. If I live a thousand years, I'll neverunderstand why/when the tears come, I only know that they do.I hope they never stop.All available strength to you and our family during thisdifficult/wonderful period,steveSteve,I use no counter and have no idea how many people read my page. In my own mind, I assume it's a few hundred - of whom a few dozen write back. Provisionally believing this suits my purposes because what I present is directed toward a small circle of what I consider sympatico souls. On the other hand, I long ago realized that there's no such thing as a crowd - it's not an act of addition but of multiplication, i.e: 1+1+1 =3, but 1x1x1=1. Even so, my ego, like anyone else's, can be knocked off balance by big numbers, despite this realization. One reason I value the mailbag so much is that it's one on one writing, whereas the journal is directed more outward - though at its best, it really is a journal and written for myself alone (within limits!). All these little provisional delusions are necessary, just as they were in writing a personal lyric like Stella Blue, as opposed to Uncle John's Band, which is obviously written for the world and knows it.Am glad the Letter to Jerry performed its intended service for you. I thought long and hard on what I could do to brighten the dawning of August 9th - and when the form of a letter to Jerry suggested itself, I knew it had to be done. I actually get stage fright uploading sometimes - but when the time actually came to put the letter online, to commit it to the world, I was calm and felt it was right to do. Still do. And the mail I'm getting back proves it.Your letter really strummed some strings in my psyche. It's a gray August 8th in England. Starting to get the first twinges of a longing for home.Subj: THE letter...Date: Aug 7 1996 10:13 PM EDTFrom: 9999999@MCIMAIL.COM (Jonathan Hart)Excellent assement of the passed year.While I certainly could not speak for the more personal issues youtouched upon in your letter to Jerry (though thanks to your onlinejournal I do feel that I finally know you as somewhat more than theanonymous scribe of all those years), I must say that you express theattitudes and emotions that I and many of my sisters and brothers havebeen feeling."Bobby Bashing" is nothing new; far from it. But it has seemed to bequite a bit worse in the past twelve moons. However, if those people hadspent any time with Bobby, as most of us have not been able to do, theywould surely have seen the pain he felt. The loss.It echoed about the room when Ratdog performed last August (the 17thI think...) here in Washington DC. it was DAR Constitution Hall, and tohear him play those songs... without Jerry's searching leads. and yetthose notes were there, ringing in the timbers of the room, propelled bythe energy and emotion of the audience and the band. Rob played AmazingGrace and Not Fade Away, and they closed with Knockin On Heaven's Doorand the audience was healed.Perhaps it was nothing more than a ribbon for our hair... But itstill carries me along. That, and my memories of course...The Garcia/Hunter writing team is something that will live on as longas men breath the air we pollute. I'd say Garcia's statement about yourtime following his is true. You may not reach the stardom-in-your-timestatus, but you know what a curse that can be. Other than helping yourwallet it can catch you up in processes and ordeals that can stifle andeven sever your creative output. But I don't have to tell you that. whatyou will achieve is timelessness. That which all artists strive towardsis yours.Not only will the songs live on but their influece will carry on aswell. Not a shabby legacy, for a guy who played guitar and a guy who hasmore words to share...as always loveJonathan HartJonathan,I appreciate the grand estimation in which you hold the Garcia/Hunter work. You catch my drift entirely. No, I don't want the world to fall at my feet and destroy my sense of proportion. I DO want the songs to outlive me. I don't mind a bit of reasonable recognition any more than the next guy, but Fame, with a capital F, is a frightening and alienating thought. I know from my own very mild acquaintance with it that it would destroy what I value most, my creative impetus and my anonymity. What would it give in return? Quantity, not quality. I give my words to the world and reserve myself for my friends and family. Yes, I want to have my cake and live to eat it too. It's a matter, I think, of choices.Date: Aug 8 1996 10:54 AM EDTFrom: DEADFRKSubj: letter to JGMan , that was moving. You made me cry and thats not too easy to do. This world need more minds like yours and a few other choosen people still alive.Peace and fare ye wellSteve
Subj: Letter to Jerry.Date: Aug 8 1996 11:36 AM EDTFrom: jimc@kurzweil.comHello Robert,Short email. That letter was really was beautiful. Thanks!!Jim
Subj: LetterDate: Aug 8 1996From: Johncabl@cris.comRH, I laughed i cryed, i remembered,i looked ahead. thanks JohnnyDate: Aug 8 1996 6:53 PM EDTFrom: jrb@zeus.jersey.net (jrb)RH, you did well, more than once a smile crossed my face while reading it, your ability to paint with words is wonderful.I'm glad you spoke up for bob w as he's getting his ass kicked on the bbs's and while my loss was distant and only personal from across the fence, his loss was of a brother and partner in life.Great Line about the books >" Let those who knew you even less write them"As a 25 year fan , it was like the loss of someone in my family, I'd seethem every spring and fall and it was always so comfortable.. Everyone inthe same place..same rug...like going home.But now the house is gone and we take out the old picture book to rememberthe past and keep us on the course >While the course may waiver...it's always forward ..Day by Day...Step by Step.Thanks Mister HunterIf only he could dust off those rusty stings just one more time...Thanks for the archive dude...Take CareJohn BJohn B,one time more or one time less, what difference would it make? To everything its season and his was a long one, by any count. Glad the letter brought you some smiles - some of what I had to say was grim enough - I was a bit hard on biographers. It's not the best of practice to criticize what I haven't read yet (and probably won't) though I get plenty of reports to base my judgments on. My bias is, of course, extreme. Haven't seen the Rolling Stone work yet since the magazine isn't, to my knowledge, available in the UK outside of London. And why would it be? They have "Spy," "Tattler," and the "News of the World" to administer to the local need to know.You're most welcome to the Archive. If no one were to hang his ass on the line, the dialogue would close down and we'd be left with only the thoughts of those whose primary interest is the sale of great quantities of paper.If my pen drips acid, remember what day it is (8/9) and the nature of our loss.Date: Aug 9 1996 1:15 AM EDTFrom: Linda KSTSubj: In the heart of a friendDear Robert,Just returned home from a very long day. One baby ran away...couldn't take the abuse anymore. Another; well she showed up with massive bruises all over her body, a smile on her face, a flower she picked for me on the way to Kid Street Theatre, and a promise she knew all the words to the song she is going to sing in the play. I guestioned my worth today.Some unknown person e-mailed me your letter to Jerry. I've read it several times and feel embarrassed that it made me cry. I don't know either of you, I must be some kind of dork.I was touched by your sense of loss, your admiration and pissed offness, your sense of self and hoping it to be so, and I was left with a thought my grandpa once told me. "In the end, all we are, is the feeling in the heart of a friend" I'm sure he took that with him, just as you carry it with you now.Bless you for sharing your tears with all of us who only watched and listened at half opened doors for a glimpse of what looked like Gods in garb with a patch preventing pain. The media can make the pain look so exciting, and the fans are willing to buy it to prevent looking at their own. Though the experience has been real for millions, you just made it real for each and every one of us, as though we count too. I thank you for that.You have an amazing way of composing the words of the soul that link us as one. It matters not who knew Jerry, it matters only that we all knew what we thought it stood for. We needed so despartely to believe that. We still do. Thanks for the reminder. I feel like a pest, but you brought it on! It's time for a glass of wine. Night nellieslcLinda,a day when we don't question our worth is a day of delusion. Why else would we try to do better? In my eyes, looking out for abused kids on a full time basis is, at the very least, not shabby. As maltreatment spreads like a cancer, antibodies like Kid Street Theater must grow apace. See you in October for the motorcycle raffle drawing.Subj: HowdyDate: Aug 8 1996 3:33 AM EDTHello, Hunter. It seems a bit strange writing this after reading yourLetter, but I wanted to tell you what's been running through my mind.How do you do, BTW? I've enjoyed your site, originally went there for Rilke and stayed for the journals and wonderful snippets like the handwritten lyric to Ripple. I'm stoned as hell, sort of, been at it for days so I'm not writing well, but hey.First reefer in ages, and I'll disgrace myself for this. :)Read your journals, interviews, strange things pop out of them at me.More than a few references have bitten me in the throat. You talked inthe letter or journal tonight about a lot to do with what I've beenthinking. Your poetry for one, how you dislike listening to it. I'veoften thought that it would be a splendid idea if you put it on thewebsite as audio files. It's written that you're a wonderful reader, andI'd like to hear it. I can sympathize with the work it takes, my husbandand I used to run a local bulletin board service, but it's great whenpeople appreciate it.Anyway, thinking back on the BBS, poetry and life in general, I recalleddriving everyone on the board crazy by posting Louis MacNeice's "BagpipeMusic". My husband and our best friend chanted it for weeks. Got in myhead too, which is why I did it. Long ago I explained to my friend thatpoetry is soothing to me, I chant it or sing it to myself, have done sosince I was a child. Wrote a fairly powerful poem about that recentlyin fact.But to get on with it, the day Jerry died I cried, which surprised me,and opened a book of poetry, which didn't. But suddenly I was reading"and death shall have no dominion..", and relating to it. Except forFern Hill, Thomas had never "spoken" to me before. I was delighted. Itwas so appropriate and so powerful that I began to memorize it. Ifinally captured it, and will probably chant it by the river very soon.That's the point of this letter: I chant it. It's a marvelous piece ofspoken poetry. I tried adding drums but I'm a lousy drummer. The beatI've settled on is kind of rap spoken, where blew a FLOWER may a flowerno MORE, but I've done it different ways. All this with no intrinsictalent! So this is what I wanted to say: do it. If nothing else, I'dlike to hear it on the website, and it would be a great tribute to Jerryif you could get it together for the band, or you and Mickey. Come backas The Dead. Maybe take it on the Net. A few weeks ago a friend with agreat location asked us how he could give concerts on the Net. I don'tknow, but you ought to have the resources. Anyway, if it's like Leshsaid, that "we" are the GD now, I've just had my say! A percentage wouldbe nicer, but I'd be happy just to hear this done.Enough of my pipe dreams. Thanks a lot for the picture of Arthur'sStone, I enjoyed that. The whole site in fact, it's what the Dead Netshould be, a little bit of the people involved. I always take away alittle piece of something. Maybe someday that will change, but it'srefreshing for now. Take care and enjoy the rest of your vacation.My name is Stranger. I call myself The Barbarian. (Literally, it is, and I do.)Stranger aka The Barbarian,Back in the old days (1960) we used to greet one another with the phrase "Anddeath shall have no dominion!" I do a pretty mean Dylan Thomas imitation myself.Problem with putting poetry on the net, which I would gladly do, is that thetechnology is so primitive it takes several megabites of download time (anhour) to get it. Just not practical yet. A few poems would double the size ofmy Archive which is already pretty ponderous when uploading time comes. Ifyou want to see what I mean, go to the Internet Poetry Archive Homepage andtry to download some poetry.rh(reply)August 9I love the fact that you once used that poem as a greeting. I reallyhope you consider doing it. I went to the river tonight, tomorrow it'sgoing to rain my thunderstorms. There's an old concrete pier footing,broken, cragging a little over the water. Trees close over it. Flat,then a broken piece sloping under it to the right, another below slopingdown and under into the water. I climbed down next to the river (hellof a thing in a dress), found my sticks and tried it on again. The poemthat is, took me 5 times to get it right, too! Kind of got electric,where the downy hair stood up first on my chest arms and neck. My armswere tingling. The tide was up on the river, she was rolling fat andsassy up from the Jersey shore, you could smell the sea, and there'sthis strange middle age woman beating sticks under a tree chanting apoem by a dead Welshman for some guy who might be floating by in some way, and the woman is me. Shit. It sounds stupid, but it's really not. I knowthat poem could sound right as a piece of music, it has such rhythm, andit's clung to me for so long that I wanted to try it for myself in theplace I love the best. Personally, I really liked it.Assuming that you're awash in a sea of various sorrows by now, I'llleave you on that note. I've started to think of today as Jerry's Eveand tomorrow as Dead Day. I mean that irreverently of course, but notmaliciously. He'll be deified, we all know it, and he'll be looked onas a benevolent god. Might as well start a damned holiday now and getit over with!Again, take care. Please don't respond if you don't have the time rightnow, I'd prefer not to dog you, as it were. Hopefully, you've takenyour pipes and run off somewhere to be alone for a time. Runningsomething like this website can be consuming, sometimes all consuming,and you really have to walk away now and then. _ALL_ the way away, for alittle while at least. I mean it. So go see Scotland for us, and enjoy.Write again when you feel like it.
Date: Aug 8 1996 9:04 PM EDTFrom: scm@harvee.billerica.ma.us (Susan Mudgett aka little gator)I had a lot of thoughts I was planning to write up, about manydifferent things, but I just checked the latest mailbag and I seeothers have said what I had to say, some better than I would've, allat least as well.Please thank them for me.Gatorful outtake: Gator in a Starfleet uniform(Vulcan ears optional),surrounded by small furry things, singing "Tribbles ahead, tribblesbehind...."Hi Susan.Will do.
Hey, everybody - Susan says thanks
Subj: This 'n that 'n' the otherDate: Aug 8 1996 8:14 PM EDTFrom: michaelz@zoka.com (Michael Zelner)Robert:I wanted to let you know that I'm so glad you like the QuickTake camera.You're right, once you have one you wonder how you got along with out it(or was that the Zip drive? -- well, same difference).But mainly, I wanted to thank you for posting your "Letter to Garcia" thisweek. It said a lot of things many of us have been thinking regardingevents of the past year -- and many we haven't, but wished that we had! Hasanyone ever told you that you have a way with words?As I think you know, I have made it a habit to repost to rec.music.gdeadexcerpts from your Journal and other tidbits from the Archive pageswhenever you update the site. Many unfortunate souls still do not have WWWaccess (or are just plain lazy, I guess) and so do not see the sourcematerial on your site, so I consider it a public service. Many have writtento me privately to thank me for these posts -- I tell them I'm just adelivery boy. But they're really thanking you for the effort, and theexcellent content. (By the way, I have been editing out much of thetravelogue material from the UK entries -- sorry! It's great, but I'mtrying to save bandwidth; people who want to read the whole thing will finda way.)The "Letter" was particularly well received, and several people havealready asked me for another copy via e-mail (too hasty with the deletebutton; didn't save before it expired on their news server, etc. etc.). I'mtempted to tell them just to truck on over to a library, find a publicterminal with a Web browser, and look it up themselves, but I end upmailing it to them. . .So keep it coming (but pace yourself, o' course!) -- we need it, and youneed it, too, it seems.There will be a lot of sadness and joy around the Bay Area on Friday. Ihope your day is mainly joyful.MZP.S. I don't know if Craig has forwarded the r.m.gd. reactions to theShoreline Furthur show, but let me say that I thought it was great, evenbetter than I expected -- partly due to the jam at the end w/Truckin >Other One >White Rabbit, and *that* in large part to Phil's participation.Some of that had the old magic -- and it gave me hope for more moments ofmagic (in the Bay Area, at least, if Phil stays a homebody). It opened somepeople's ears to the fact that the X-factor goes beyond Jerry. . . theyeven dug Sammy Hagar!--------------michaelz@zoka.com---Michael Zelner---Oakland CA USA-----------------Michael,glad you're posting what's of use. I trust you know what you're doing and don't make me sound like the village gossip.No forward from Craig yet, but will slam it on when it comes.Pace myself?! Hmm - actually have been laying back feeling lazy for an hour or two at a stretch after the last update, indulging my hay fever a bit - but the email is in full flood, as expected, and is a full time occupation. If I do nothing else but answer it, I can keep up. And I think it's important that I do. Assume it'll slacken in a couple of days.Glad the newsgroup received the letter to JG well. Geoff posted it on his AOL site to save people the trouble (?!) of going online for it. Seems a bit odd and lonely divorced from its site context, but there you go. Only a parent would notice, I'm sure.Subj: August 9 in JapanDate: Aug 8 1996 3:57 PM EDTFrom: alanm@twics.com (Alan Murdock)Hello Mr. Hunter,Thanks for sharing your letter to Garcia. It was a great help and comfort to me.I hadn't visited the Dead's web site for a long time but will try to keepup with what you post there. If it's really true that you're the webmaster,then it's also true that the ol' dragon has yet got some real fire in itsbelly!Very best,-alanTokyo, JapanAlan,yeah, it's true and it does.You're most welcome. Please to check the site once in awhile.Date: Aug 8 1996 4:41 PM EDTFrom: 73623.2727@CompuServe.COM (Ron Jenson)fuzzy bodhisattva fatman junkycrest of ripple fades awayif the poppy helped his sorrowpoppy is no help todaylife is long so full of musiclife is short the songs unsungwill the music live forevercan the harp be heard unstrunglong or short is not the measureall is void without reliefuniverse of endless treasureworld of unconditioned griefdo we know or do we carestep back, step back, advanceall the music, all the airwe breathe and danceLove to All. --Ron
Date: Aug 8 1996 8:45 PM EDTFrom: CabezasfamSubj: The Rose of SharonRH Hello. I hope you receive this note. I'm like a dinosaur with computers. Maybe I should ask my kids to do this for me; but I have to learn sometime. The Rose of Sharon I planted a little bush, called the rose of sharon during spring of 95, in a sweet spot of our little yard. There the bush slowly grew into summer, green and fragile. The summer days brought me to Aug.9, 1995. Sitting in the yard, with Niagara Falls streaming from my eyes, as my heart broken but alive wished our friend a blessed trip as he went before to the other side. Looking up,through the tears, I saw the Rose of Sharon, blooming with her first flowers, as a mother giving birth, so what else could I do but baptize these rose children from my little plant, the Garcia Bush. This year she gave birth to more roses on Aug.1, 1996, his birthday, with a message from mortal death to eternal life. Thank you my friend. Tom
Date: Aug 9 1996 7:29 AM EDTFrom: Haight710Subj: thanks and blessingsdear rh,just read your letter to jg. touched by it deeply,especially today.as always it comes from your heartand touches all of ours.thanks as always for the words and insightsthey help us get by and survive.'all the years combine- they melt into a dream'bless you for keeping the dream alive.love and peace on this dayDate: Aug 9 1996 12:02 PM EDTFrom: allclear@javanet.com (James Klar)Dear Robert,I awoke this morning with a heaviness I can only describe asloss. I spent most of yesterday feeling good and feeling free, thoughin the back of my mind and at the front of my heart was the acceptancethat I'd go to sleep, wake up, and have it be August 9th, 1996. Ihate this day. I don't hate much - in fact, very little. But I cansay with full conviction and even a little chuckle, that I hate theday Jerry Garcia passed away. I am writing this to you because youcan read it. I am banking on Jerry being able to feel it. JerryGarcia is an energy source that is flowing with our thoughts and issomehow, I am convinced, affected by our continued love for him. Isuppose he is affected by some people's negative judgements of him aswell, those people that can't see beyond the human-ness and into thebrilliance. It doesn't really matter. I know his energy is stillnurturing me and many other folks down here.Perhaps you have heard of a band named "This Mortal Coil?" Theyare (or were, anyway) on the 4AD label. The name of the record is"filigree & shadow." I mention it only because you use the term andit so happens that the record has a lot of Garcia mirrors - the darkerfeeling that subsumes his nature. I don't fathom to have insight intohis deeper self other than through his music. We all gravitatetowards sounds and enjoy different things about what he and the Deaddid, but I was always most attracted to the heavy stuff. As I re-readyour letter I keep discovering new things and am overwhelmed by yoursentiments. It's unlike anything I've ever read before.Back to today. I needed a connection and an acknowldegment ofGarcia's life, this being a milestone. I don't expect his picture tobe on the front pages of newspapers today, and in fact, agree withyour sentiment that it is too soon to even comprehend the man. Youbeing the chosen webmaster is appropriate - and I think you're filling avoid that would be painfully empty otherwise. To be able to wake upfeeling distant and far from a person and a world that has meant somuch, and then be able to read a heartfelt letter to the sky from thewellspring is meaningful. Thank you for your candor and your truth.If Garcia was a shitty father and crappy will-writer, I am sorry forthose affected...but the fact remains that his contributions are sofar-reaching that I don't feel any of that to be very material. Worsethings can happen to people then being left out of a will - and thoughit may sound a bit callous and hardhearted, that man provided and willcontinue to provide so many of us a glimpse into the magical ways ofthe universe, that it is worth it.This letter is my way of paying homage to a man that has lit somany wonderful flames of mystery in my mind, been a big net at thebottom of a scary fall, brought smiles to my face that made my musclesache, pulled me through tunnels of darkness and then stood therelaughing while we followed some elusive light, gave me strength todream and now, as I sit here, brings me to tears. And as I sit hearcrying, I close my eyes and see his face, his white beard surroundedin black, and he's still smiling...and it makes me cry harder becauseI can't ever get in my van again, leaving SF headed towards Sacramentoon a hot summer day, see the buses in the breakdown lane and the waterslides of Cal Expo on my right as I get off the highway and pull intoline for yet another ride on the Captain Trips Mystery Train...when Ipark my van and take a deep breath and smile, landing in space with mycommrades and a culture never seen before, created in this moment andin our time...and it's over. At least that part of it. God, it wassuch a good part, though. Such a fun ride. Thanks, Jerry. Youfought your demons well.When I found out that he died I was on 101 leaving Mill Valleyright near the Sir Francis Drake exit for San Anselmo. My very goodfriend Peter Oppenheimer lives in Forest Knolls and I spent countlessdays and nights there, never expecting the beginning of my ride withthe Dead to also be the end. As I drove up 101, in Marin County - Icried, and I laughed, and I listened to his music and knew everythingwas different. The first song I heard was "The Wheel."Once last thing and then I will pick up my guitar and sing somesongs. You are an inspirational person and your writing, both interms of lyrics and this journal you now keep, has spurred me on.Your comment that Jerry is "an exponent of a dream in the continualact of being defined into a reality" is a beautiful comment, a nicebig piece of candy that I'll chew on for quite some time. Iappreciate you taking the time to read this, and being there on areally hard day. I could go on and on, there is so much to say, butthis letter served it's purpose, and I bid you farewell and extend myregards.His words DID glow!with love and dreams,Jim Klar8/9/96, Northampton, MAps. I am posting this letter as part of my journal -www.javanet.com/~gator/james.htmlJim,don't hate a day that set someone you love free of his pain. Your letter is beautiful.Date: Aug 9 1996 11:45 AM EDTFrom: lee@mail.intbuild.com (Lee Chubb)Dear Robert,It was a year ago today that you lost a great friend, and I lost a great hero.Jerry may never have held himself out that way, but the combination of wit,art, and laughter made a personality that I couldn't help but love.Much has been made of whether the "scene" will survive. I would like to takejust a minute and remember the music. It was the music more than anythingelse that drew me to the Grateful Dead. The ethic of spontaneity inperformance, and in life, is one that has made all the difference to me as Iprogress through life.These days, in the regular world, I have a hard time conveying the value ofthat ethic. If I had not been taught it by the Grateful Dead, I'm not sure Iwould be the person I am today. Yet, as I watch my friends petrify andstagnate with age, it is the single most important thing in my day to daylife.I am indebted to the Grateful Dead, whatever they are, for that lesson. Itcame from Jerry's guitar, Phil's bass, your lyrics, and every other member ofthe band as well. I watched you all struggle through some big changes inlife, and grow in the process. In the process, I went from a worshippingadolescent to an adult who could wield enough mental power to travel the music with them. That is a journey I will always treasure.The music is on at work today, and the kids that work for me have been toldthat it will be on till we close. They don't really get it, but maybe theywill someday.My love to you, and to all the members of the Grateful Dead family. I'mtalking about Jerry today but it was the whole that made it special, bothmusically and spiritually.For myself, I will celebrate life today. The tie dye is on, Half Step isplaying, and though there's the trace of a tear in my eye, I feel incrediblylucky to have been where we've been, and hopeful for where we're going.Peace.Lee ChubbDate: Aug 9 1996 10:46 AM EDTFrom: baymarin@well.com (BD)Hello, RH.How are you today? First anniversaries of tragic events areusually very difficult for friends and loved ones affected. My thoughtsare with you.As for those of us who loved Jerry through the spirit of his musicand his smile (oh, that smile), this is definitely going to be a tough day.I was awakened at 4:10 this morning with my heart pounding in my ears. Dejavu? I live fairly close to Forest Knolls where Jerry passed away, and Iswear, at this time last year, a dog woke me up with such a mournful howl, Ithought it was a wolf. When I got the news by 8:00 am, I felt a chillthinking about that pre-dawn howl. The Dire Wolf?I saved reading your letter to Jerry for today, but since I am up at4:30 am, it seemed all the more appropriate to be reading it now. Thankyou from the depths of my heart for that extraordinary, poignant epistle tothe ethers. It has been one of the greatest gifts you could give to Jerry- - the opening of your soul to encompass and thereby, help alleviate, theshards of icy grief so many of us have been been staggering around with inour hearts for the past year. Thank you for your courage to be willing toshoulder such a grim, daunting task. Your warmth, your openness, yourfrankness, your compassion, and your vision of a *further* journey for thespirit of the magic of the Grateful Dead, have all been of inestimable helpfor the healing process we are all going through. Speaking for myself,this help has been essential.Thank you, Robert Hunter, for all the love and the lyrics.With grateful affection,BeverlyBeverly,I'm feeling pretty damned good today. Answering a cloudburst of intelligent, perceptive, emotionally balanced and heartfelt email is keeping me well occupied. If I've been a help in keeping the healing on track, then I've done what I set out to do with the Archive. I think we've done the hard slog now. Time is kind in that respect. Distance equals perspective. It appears to me we've got it.Date: Aug 9 1996 9:38 AM EDTFrom: sm@kcc.co.za (Steve Mallett)Robert HiDo I call you Robert, Bob? Seems strange to be writing to you after allthese years of listning to your words.By one of those delightful synchronicities I found my way to yourarchive a year after Jerry's departure and have just read your letter.Not so strange to be writing to a dead man, I remember doing the same tomy father. He was a better listener after death and I was better able tohear him without the static.Talking of Garcia's image selling briskly, the Tanzanian post office hasapparently issued a Garcia and a Grateful Dead stamp. I haven't actuallyyet seen said artifacts so it could be a rumour. But then Africa is evencrazier than I thought!Thanks for putting yourself into the pages. Long may you continue.SteveSteve,thanks for your thoughts.No other way to say the dozens of things that were pestering me to be said, outside of talking to the man himself, speaking to his sense of humor and perspective about a few gripes, what's going right, and what's weird. Seemed like something ought to be said.I've seen the stamp. It's a commemorative collector's item; doubt if you'd see it on Tanzanian letters.Just got to the Archive, huh? It must look pretty daunting by this point.Call me anything but Elvis.Subj: A Jerry StoryDate: Aug 9 1996 2:37 PM EDTFrom: johns@grifcon.com (John Schaible)Hello Mr. Hunter,First of all, I wanted to thank you for responding to my last e-mail toyou. I really wasn't expecting one. I wasn't even sure if you had thetime or inclination to read all the e-mail you receive. What a greatthing this internet is. In normal reality, I most likely would not evenget to be in a close proximity to you, let alone to have some kind ofdialogue with you. And, your response was very nice and thought out.It wasn't some stamped out reply that you send to everyone. It reallymeant a lot to me.Being the one year anniversary of Jerry's passing today, and having readyour letter to Jerry, I wanted to share my one and only Jerry story withyou.The Dead played a two night stand at the Palace of Auburn Hills, inMichigan in the spring of '92. My friends and I had really great seatsthe first night, but the second night, we had rear stage seats. Now, wewere kind of bummed about that. I had never had rear stage seatsbefore. However, we were only about 10 feet away from the back of thestage. We could see a lot of things that you never could see from thefront of the stage. We could see the whole conversation (musical andotherwise) between Billy and Mickey. That was great. Also, as youknow, the Dead were a first class organization. They had placed lightsand speakers facing the rear for all of us with rear stage seats. I'venever seen any other band do that. So, the sound for us was really goodtoo.This was my 10th Dead show, and I had yet to see a China->Rider. Thisis my favorite Dead pairing. In fact, the version from Europe '72 isthe piece of music that turned me on to the Dead. As it turns out, ourseats were right next to the entrance from the lower part of the arenato the stage. About 15 minutes before the second set began, who shouldcome strolling out but Jerry. I grabbed my friend, "look man, it'sJerry!". We were really excited. He was only about 5 feet away. I hadflashes of asking him for an autograph, but I didn't. I yelled, "heyJerry". He stopped, turned and looked at me. I said "play China Catman". He winked at me, nodded his head, then proceeded to his littlecubby hole on the stage. He practiced his guitar until the rest of theboys hit the stage. When the lights went down, I was really excited."Do you think he'll do it?" I asked my friend. Next thing you know,'ole Bruce is twinkling 'Foolish Heart' on the keys. "Oh no" Ithought. Not that I don't like that song, but I really wanted thatChina Cat. So, they're all warming up, Jerry's got his back to thecrowd, foolin' around with his rack. Bruce is really psyched to play'Foolish Heart'. Jerry plays the first few notes to China Cat, stillwith his back to the crowd. He looks up, right at me, and smiles. Hethen turns around, and bam, the band launches into China Cat, much toBruce's dismay. I went nuts. What a cool thing to do. Now, I knowChina Cat was probably up in their rotation, but I couldn't help feelinglike Jerry had done it for me. That was so special to me. I don't knowof another artist that would do that. Whenever I hear Jerry play now, Ijust remember him looking up at me and smiling, and it makes me smiletoo. What a great artist he was. I, along with a whole lot of otherpeople, miss him more than words can tell. Well, maybe your words couldtell. I hope this message finds you smiling too.Thanks for listening,-johnJohn,what do you mean "next in the rotation?" The Dead don't have no rotation. He played it because you asked him to.Subj: One of a thousand!?Date: Aug 9 1996 10:24 PM EDTFrom: jgrady@eden.com (Jay Grady)Hey there Rob...I suppose on this day I'm one of a thousand folks who are gonna email you. Perhaps not, but it's a rather bizarre day here on earth. Welll. at least is for us. Ya know I'm only 26 yrs old. I didn't go to my first Dead show until 3/30/94. (The last Dark Star) What a site.. !! There was so much to see, feel, ... hear. I honestly don't remember it that much. No, not because of my choice of "mind altering". A hard day's travel from Austin to Atlanta made that an unreasonable choice. Besides, I wanted to see the Dead, not get screwed up! Mostly there was just too much to absorb. Sound, lights, colors, people.. and above all else, wonderful music. The next night, my 2nd, was, well.. lets just say I was officially converted.I cruised out to the archives today to read your journals and such. I check it out about once a week. (The pictures of the castles & Europe are awesome by the way). What always strikes me is that you write from the perspective of someone "on his way out", not in the morbid sense, but in a way that only someone of your age and experience could possibly write. (No insult intended BTW *grin*) You've been there from the beginning. I, on the other hand, am just beginning. As I type this 2/24/74 is playing rather "robustly" through my stereo. I was five years old at the time. I bet you folks never imagined it would go on this long! It's sorta funny. I / we, have an advantage that you guys never had. I get to listen to the music with a completely objective ear. Play me a a show from the 60's, 70's, 80's, etc.. It doesn't matter to me. If it's good it's good. There's no emotional attachment to any particular decade. I was presented with the complete body of work. Express Service. No stops. No waiting. Jerry and the boys were just as grand in the 90's as they were in the 60's. In fact, they were FAR superior. Others may have their opinions, but I'll bet they long for those days of youth ...You should have faith. It will carry on. There are a lot of us out here. We're desperately looking for a vehicle to hitch a ride with. We'll find one, or many, sometime down the road. Your words haven't gone un-noticed. Hell, I sing one lyric or another to myself at least once a day.Congrats on the Zero stuff.. I've seen em' 7 times here in Austin. Words do not describe those guys. I happily promote them every chance I get by making tapes for folks and doing my best to turn em' on to the tunes.Well, enough banter. I'm sure you have others to read. I just wanted to touch base and let you know that you're having a positive effect on things and that we appreciate the effort. Hope your trip was a good one.Take care,JayJay,I think the "writing like I'm on my way out" may largely be due to the re-evaluating experience I'm undergoing during my two months in England. I need to be cut off like this to do it. Otherwise the dynamicism at home is pretty straight ahead. But I thank you for the perceptive comment. In a way, I guess I've always done that. I mean, "Brokedown Palace" was on American Beauty, wasn't it - and I was only around your age then. Don't know where I got the "long view" from, but suspect it had something to do with traumatic family break up troubles at age nine, and subsequent boarding homes I was placed in over the next couple of years. Made a melancholy lad of me.Date: Aug 9 1996 6:47 PM EDTFrom: rowjimmy@ix.netcom.com (William Richard DeHaven)You are so good at sharing your feelings I just want to share mine. Ienjoy reading you writings on the net - they are right on. When I amreading them I feel like I'm close to the source of what makes me me.I'm 45 (but read at a 46 yr old level) and have a wonderful 15 year oldson and have been enjoying the 'experience' (whatever that may be)since I was a teenager. I know in my heart that we can keep this thinggoing but it will take time and a shape of its own. So please don'tget frustrated and quit on us. I don't have much to offer in the wayof literary stuff, but sure do enjoy what you do.Happiness to youWilliam,don't worry about me getting frustrated and quitting. I do it regularly about once a month and have the chops down. But I can't, in the end, abandon the interest, being naturally and irretrievably curious about what will happen next.rh[Archives] [Index]Postoffice